Perspectives: Sam’s Perspective – The Visitors

I heard there was a break in at the state Capitol the other day.  Actually the other night.  Seems a couple of masked bandits made their way into the Senate side, rummaged through a senator’s office and down a hallway before they were caught,… and later released.  And not a shot was fired.  Turns out the would be bandits were a couple of young raccoons, looking for food. They got into Senator Patrick Anderson’s office and got into one or two of the cabinets.  But they didn’t find any food.  I could have told them it was a waste of time.  You see, Senator Anderson is a Republican.  They usually eat out and a lobbyist   picks up the tab,  or they have something delivered and if anything is left over, the staff gets it.

Would have been different if they’d gone into a Democratic Senator’s office though.   Democrats usually bring their lunch.  They’re used to getting by with next to nothing.  So is their staff.   Got to thinking about this little episode and thought maybe with the election upon us all, you might be better prepared to vote if you knew the difference between Republicans and Democrats.  So, with a little help from author Frank Benjamin and his book, “You Know You’re a Republican or Democrat   If,…   I thought I’d give you a few pointers, maybe it will help you decide how to vote.

Here we go,…

You know you’re a Republican if you start off on third base and think you’ve hit a triple.

You know you’re a Democrat if you hit a single but believe you deserve a triple because the other team got one.

You know you’re a Republican if you believe the U.S. Constitution clearly supports strip mining.

You know you’re a Democrat if you believe the U.S. Constitution clearly supports strippers.

You know you’re a Republican if you’re planning to name your firstborn son “Dubya” or “Donald”.

You know you’re a Democrat if you’re planning to name your firstborn son “Hillary.”

You know you’re a Republican if you own plaid pants.

You know you’re a Democrat if you own a plaid bow tie.

You know you’re a Republican if your excuse for buying a gas-guzzling SUV is, “Mind your own Business.”

You know you’re a Democrat if your excuse for buying a gas-guzzling SUV is, “I plan to deliver Meals on Wheels in wilderness areas.”

Finally,…

You know you’re a Republican if you’ve watched the movie The Dirty Dozen six times and every time you cried at the end.

You know you’re a Democrat if you cried watching Bambi as a child, and you’ve been in therapy ever since.

O.K., I lied.  One more.

You know you’re a Republican if you’re afraid of the IRS.

You know you’re a Democrat if you’re afraid of the FBI.

Look, before you say I’m not taking the Presidential election seriously, let me just say this,… We live in a Republic.  And the folks who drafted the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, were very wise.  And because of their wisdom, whatever happens election day matters a great deal.  But , make no mistake, regardless of the outcome,  it may be uncomfortable for a while, but The Republic will survive.

That’s my Perspective.